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U.S. to bomb Kurdistan in order to save it
25.10.2007 |
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October
25, 2007
Americans have learned a lot since invading Iraq.
We’ve learned that Sunnis and Shiites are different
kinds of Iraqis, and that there are different kinds
of Sunnis and different kinds of Shiites, and that
they all hate each other, and us, and express that
hate with great, explosive force.
But if there’s one group we’ve been able to count
on, it’s the Kurds. “Don’t mind us!” the Kurds say.
“We love you guys! We’ll just chill up here in the
one part of the country where the streets aren’t
routinely littered with smoldering body parts,
loving American and doing our thing and [lowering
their voice and talking rapidly] every once in a
while launching a cross-border raid against Turkey!”
But, now, sadly, it’s time for the
Kurds to get bombed, too.
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The Iraqi Kurds are the strongest allies the US has
in the area. |
It’s not John Rambo
behind this sudden change in plan. No, it’s the
Turks, chomping at the bit due to cross-border raids
from a Kurdish guerilla group. The Turkish
legislature has authorized an invasion at any time;
we’ve been trying to talk them out of it, since a
Turkish invasion of northern Iraq is high on the
list of Ways That, Against All Odds, Iraq Could
Become Even More Of A Nightmarish Clusterfuck. Now
it looks like the only way to do so is to do the job
ourselves. www.ekurd.net
Naturally, we’ll be using only our smartest
precision cruise missiles, targeting isolated
militant camps, working in close cooperation with
the Iraqi and Kurdish regional governments, etc.,
etc. Which obviously means that within weeks the
whole thing will blow up into a full-on battle
royale featuring four distinct rival Kurdish
factions, U.S. ground troops, the Turks invading
anyway, and massive bombs dropped on urban centers.
Then in 92 years Congress will pass a resolution
condemning Turkey for the resulting Kurdicide!
wonkette com
Bush offers to bomb Kurds
[Herald Sun]
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