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A new class of homeless
has emerged in Sulaimaniyah – men who’ve been kicked
out of the marital home.
Saeed Muhammed lies on a piece of cardboard in the
shade of a mosque, squinting as dust swirls around
him.
“I had everything when I was young. My wife and
children and my children respected me,” he said.
“When I grew old, they kicked me out.”
Muhammed, now 56, with a long white beard and
mustache, spends his nights on the city’s streets.
He said his wife urged his sons to force him out of
the house. Now his only family memento is a picture
of his youngest son.
“This is my smaller son, he’s 16-years-old,” said
Muhammed. “I miss him a lot because only he treated
me well.”
Muhammed has company on the streets. He is part of
an unfortunate fraternity of men who have been
forced out of their homes, either because they can
no longer provide for their families or because they
treated them badly when they were younger.
Many sleep in mosques and public areas at night and
beg during the day. They are sometimes derided by
people passing by and often suffer from poor health
because of exposure to the elements and a lack of
decent meals and proper hygiene.
Abdullah Maroof, 49, the father of three daughters
and two sons, said his wife kicked him out because
he couldn’t give her the money and house she asked
for. Maroof, a clothes vendor, said his two sons are
now married and also want nothing to do with him.
“For the men who have been pushed out of their
homes, the blame is on the wives,” said Maroof. “Bad
wives make children bad, too.”
Rostem Hama-Murad, 60, told a similar story as he
sat begging outside a Sulaimaniyah mosque. He said
he suffers from diabetes and hypertension and had
medical documents spread out before him to prove he
needs treatment.
“May God not afflict any man with a bad wife,” he
said. “A bad wife forced me on to the streets. When
she doesn’t need you any more, she kicks you out.”
But the wives insist the men are only getting what
they deserve.
Saeed Muhammed’s wife admits that she made her
husband leave, because he is old and sick and no
longer able to work. “I’m fed up with serving him so
much,” she said. “He didn’t respect me when he was
young, so why should I serve him now?”
Civil servant Sergul Yousif, 45, said she kicked her
husband out, because he didn’t pay attention to his
family in his younger days.
“When he was young and had money, he sometimes
wouldn’t come home once a month,” she said. “He
wouldn’t spend money on us. He went to live in
Baghdad. Now that he’s grown old, he wants me to
spend money on him.”
Mriem Hama-Kareem, 48, has been living alone since
she threw her husband out of the house a year ago.
“My husband doesn’t have a job,” she said. “I raised
my children with my salary working as a civil
servant. I’ll never let him come back, because when
he had money, he married another woman, and when his
new wife kicked him out, he came back to me.
“I don’t want him, so I pushed him out.”
Shadan Tofiq Abdul-Rahman, social development
director in the ministry of labour and social
affairs, acknowledged the phenomena, but said there
are no statistics on how many men have been
affected.
She said the ministry offers monthly pensions of
40,000 dinars (27 US dollars) for homeless
individuals, who can also stay at a facility for
elderly and disabled people, established in 1997 by
the directorate of the social care department.
But Abdul-Rahman said many don’t want to stay in the
home, “Partly it’s due to their low level of
awareness and partly to their love of freedom of
going around, because they think their movements
will be restricted in the home.”
Instead, they take their chances living on the
streets.
“From sleeping in wet places, I’ve been infected
with diseases and my kidneys are in bad shape,” said
Omer Salih, 61, as he lay in the Sulaimaniyah public
garden. “I can’t do any work. I was dismissed from
my home because I’m sick.”
Aman Khalil is an IWPR trainee journalist in
Sulaimaniyah.
www.iwpr.net
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