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Culture clash for returning Kurdish women
to Kurdistan
30.11.2005
By Aziz Mahmoud in Sulaimaniyah (ICR No. 154,
29-Nov-05)
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Many young women who have lived abroad find it hard
to adjust to social strictures as well as economic
difficulties when they come back to Iraqi Kurdistan.
After six years in Germany, Fenk Kamaran returned
with her family to Sulaimaniyah last year. But she
now finds herself fantasising about going back to a
country she didn't much like.
"They called us 'black heads'," said Kamaran, 20,
"and they blamed everything bad that happened on the
'black heads'. We returned to Kurdistan because we
couldn’t get along with them. They don't behave like
us, and even though we are Kurds, we couldn’t live
as Kurds."
Yet recurring electricity cuts, the shortage of
water and what she sees as the restricted freedom
enjoyed by young women in northern Iraq are often
too much for Kamaran to bear. She is now weighing
whether to leave her family and return to Germany.
Kurdish families living in the West have begun
returning to Sulaimaniyah, widely considered the
safest city in Iraq, to resume their lives in their
homeland.
The adjustment from Europe and North America is
particularly difficult for Kurdish girls and young
women, who have often been torn between the
conservative values inside the home and the western
way of life outside it.
Many have returned together with their families, who
did not want them to stay abroad on their own,
fearing they would adopt western values and abandon
their traditional values.
Young women interviewed by IWPR said they were still
caught between the two worlds. And as they get
older, they are torn between remaining with their
loved ones and seeking opportunities and freedoms
that they do not believe exist in Iraqi Kurdistan.
Shnyar Jabar, 18, attends the Gasha ("shining")
school, a private English-language institution for
returnees in Sulaimaniyah. The school, which offers
elementary to preparatory level education, opened
last year and has about 300 students.
Jabar's father decided in 2003 that the family
should return to Sulaimaniyah after living in the
Netherlands for 10 years. She wants to study fashion
design but like many girls at the school, feels that
schooling in Iraqi Kurdistan is not on a par with
education in the West.
"My living conditions were much better there, but
because my father decided to return I had to agree
with him," said Jabar. There was no question of her
remaining behind in the Netherlands, as "they were
worried about me getting into trouble".
Bakr Rashid, 45, a taxi driver in Sulaimaniyah,
returned in 2004 after living for a decade in
Sweden. As the father of two girls, he decided to
come back because he did not believe that Sweden was
good for them.
"Kurdistan is better for us, because in Europe the
girls might deviate morally and culturally when they
grow up," he said. "We returned so that we wouldn't
lose my girls. We couldn't behave like the Swedes."
Binayee Abas' blonde hair and green eyes attract
unwelcome attention whenever she enters
Sulaimaniyah's market. The youngest of four
children, she lived in the United States for 14 of
her 17 years.
Her mother has hidden her short skirts and all the
other clothes that are popular with teenage girls in
California, where they lived. Although Sulaimaniyah
is one of the most liberal cities in Iraq when it
comes to the way women dress, Abas is frustrated
that she can't wear what she likes or walk around
the market alone.
She speaks with disdain about the stares and insults
she gets, "I'm sick of people looking at me. If you
wear something different, people look down on you,
and you cannot block their gaze…. When I speak to my
sister in English, they think it's weird."
Abas said she was an alien in the United States, but
she also feels like a stranger here.
"I can't live in Kurdistan," she said. "After I
complete my studies, I will return to the States.
The American lifestyle is now part of me."
Bekhal Rauf, 47, had the reverse experience. She
lived in Britain for three years but never really
adjusted, and has returned to Sulaimaniyah to head
the nursing department in the technological
institute.
Rauf, who has been engaged for two years, said that
although she cannot get married because of the
rising cost of housing in Sulaimaniyah, and she
suffers without electricity and water, she still
prefers life here.
"Europe doesn't suit Kurdish women," she said.
"European family values are quite different from
ours, which is why I returned."
Fourteen-year-old Zaynab Muhammed, on the other
hand, has already decided that when she finishes
school she will head back to Turkey where she was
born. Her mother is from Sulaimaniyah, and her
family returned this year.
She said she was "less proud to be a Kurd in
Turkey," but that she enjoyed her life and friends
there.
"I wouldn't have returned to Kurdistan if my father
hadn’t brought me back, because life here is
uncomfortable," she said. "There is no oil, water or
electricity. My parents are the ones tying me to
Kurdistan."
Aziz Mahmoud is an IWPR trainee journalist in
Sulaimaniyah.
www.iwpr.net
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